Letter To My Husband

 Dearest husband,

    I'm not even sure if you will ever come across this. But if you somehow do, please read.

    I feel like, even though we both have been faithful to each other, that we are drifting apart. Drifting apart is not something that I want to continue. I want us to drift CLOSER to each other...not farther away. 

    I also believe that our faith is going down the toilet. I want us to grow closer to God. If we can do that, then we can grow closer together. I love going to church. I do want to get more into church. Whether it's with a small group or something else. It would make everything MUCH better between us. 

    Also, I absolutely need you to tell me EVERYTHING going on. I don't care if it's the good, the bad, or the terrible!!! Don't hang on to it. Release it. You will be much much happier if you did. I'd be even more open to telling YOU things. Granted I already tell you loads of things. 

    Something that you didn't know is that I feel like we are more just friends/roommates. Not husband and wife. I need us to get back to the husband and wife part. I am your best friend. And you are mine. I need you more than you will ever know. 

    I've brought this up before, But it has been many years since I last brought it up. Please understand that I need us to reconnect before we end up divorced. Our marriage is headed towards divorce. It really is. It upsets me when you refuse to even speak to me. 

    If you DO  speak to me, its just grunts, or okay, or yeah. You'll talk ALL DAY to me thru text, but wont actually speak to me face to face. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells the majority of the time. I am so sick and tired of feeling like I am!!! No one should be made to feel that way ever!!!

    You keep job hopping. I am so sick and tired of you job hopping!!! Why cant you just stick it out in one place??! This is something that needs to be stopped. I have had four (4!!!) jobs in the 12 years, almost 13, that we have been together. FOUR!!! You have had far more than that. It doesn't look good on resumes if you are constantly job hopping. Upper management is looking for people with staying power. Ones that will stick around no matter what. 

    I stayed 9.5 years at my first job. 1.5 years at my second. Nine months at my third (it was a horrible job). I've been at my current job for almost five years. It'll be five years on September 19. 

    Have I wanted to leave this job??! Hell yeah I have. I have chosen to stick it out. I want us to both have stable jobs. Jobs that can take us all the way up if that's what we want. You just have to keep pushing thru the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm right there beside you. 

I love you, my angel!!! Please read and take into consideration what I have said.